Twisted Pixel Announces Ms. Splosion Man

[BreakingBacks]

BIG SCIENCE CAPTURES SPLOSION MAN, WORLD NOW SAFE FOREVER
Twisted Pixel Games Proud to Announce the World Won’t End in the Fall of 2011


Twisted Pixel Games was pleased to announce today that their subsidiary, Big Science, has captured the Splosion Man and guaranteed the safety of all humankind. Many remember the terrifying events of July 2009: Splosion Man’s horrifying rampage through Big Science laboratories that meated hundreds of scientists and caused untold damage to their underground laboratories. Eye witnesses reported widespread destruction and a staggering number of t-bones and fillets left in his wake.

Today that ends, with Twisted Pixel releasing footage of the successful capture of the renegade experiment. The scientists speak with new-found confidence about their success. Says Dr. Wilson, “Even if some sort of newer, stronger, better threat were created, our newest security measures and fiendish traps would be more than enough to contain it. We’ve made incredible advances in our technology over this past year.... Not that there would ever be a use for any of it.”

Dr. Henry was quick to add, “Our lab, our equipment - everything has had functionality improvements and visual overhauls, and our company has expanded to some incredible new locations. It’s all pristine and beautiful - decadent environments that we are very happy no experiment gone wrong will ever rampage through.” Dr. Henry paused briefly before continuing, “I don’t even know why I’m mentioning that, because it’s 100% guaranteed that Splosion Man will never be a threat to us again.”

When asked if there was any risk of overconfidence amongst the scientists, Dr. Riley was quick to interject. “Why? What’s going to happen, some sort of freak accident in the after party that creates a “Ms. Splosion Man” mere seconds after Splosion Man’s capture? And then the Ms. Splosion Man goes on some monster tear in the fall of 2011? Yeah right. Not very likely.”

Twisted Pixel Games reiterates that despite the fact that nothing could possibly go wrong during today’s events, should any newsworthy event occur, they will release as much information as possible in the coming months.